if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
