i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
