Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
