Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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