he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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