i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
