Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
