He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
