Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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