we have pet lesbian snakes
where am i from again
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
