yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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