Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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