Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
