i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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