Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
