Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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