miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
