this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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