Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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