Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
