Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
