he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Randomize
