I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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