dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This baby is an asshole
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
