Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
