Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
