I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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