I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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