i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
How naked do you want me to be?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
