why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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