just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
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Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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