You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
