i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
