Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
