Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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