Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
