Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize