i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
