Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
They are going to name an STD after you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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