a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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