She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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