It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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