that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
