there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
