my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
