Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
