I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
