I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
