the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
