I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
