I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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