her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
third nipple confirmed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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