just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
