my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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