If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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