i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize