you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
