just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
