Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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