then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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