All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
